A woman face-down on two rolls, in a grainy screenshot.
Courtesy @breadfaceblog

The Absurdly Wonderful @breadfaceblog

By Aileen Kwun
November 2, 2019
2 minute read

Part performance art, part trendy food blog, the strange Instagram sensation @breadfaceblog is absurdly, succinctly, and exactly on the nose of what its handle suggests: a person planting her face—sometimes violently thrashing, other times prodding or rubbing, in a gentle caress—upon a variety of carb-laden goods of all kinds and cultures, from croissants to ciabattas to baos, obliterating each to crumbs.

There are many peculiar and enthusiastic food subcultures found under various rocks and corners of the internet, from mukbang bingers and noshers to Alison Roman acolytes adding to the avalanche of the cook’s latest viral recipe. The @breadfaceblog feed stands apart. Its keeper neither bakes her own goods nor eats them—or, at least, rarely does so on camera. “Since everyone always wants to know—I feed the leftover bread to your dad after I’ve worked up his appetite 😁🎧,” @breadfaceblog wrote in a recent post. Sassy! And probably NSFW. In an age of a wellness-fueled antagonism for gluten, one might consider @breadfaceblog an ironic triumph. Where other food bloggers sink their teeth or hands into the latest trendy eat, Bread Face pummels her nose and cheeks into foot-long loaves, crusty boules, rolls, and squishy pastries. Four years on (a lifetime in viral internet years) the Brooklyn-based vlogger counts more than 200 video posts, 193,000 followers, and collaborations with publications ranging from T: The New York Times Style Magazine to Banana. She even gave a live performance at the recent Seattle Art Fair—and has somehow managed to keep her true identity, among other explanations, a complete mystery.

Is facefeel the new mouthfeel? Is it comedy or kink? A gastronomic ode to gluten or a fetishistic form of withdrawal? And what skin-care regimen could possibly hold up in the face of such buttery, flaky, and floury creations? The comedian Gallagher had his watermelons; Bread Face has her bread—and face. Nothing more, nothing less, only a host of questions left to her ASMR-loving audience. It’s as simple as her Instagram bio states: “Giving the people something they didn’t ask for.” 🍞